I've been teaching my whole life. It started when I was very young. My mom owned a school when I was growing up and I was always a few years older than everyone there. Naturally I fell into the older brother role - giving what advice I could, keeping people in line, nurturing them and pushing them. I guess you could say I was born to teach. Being a teacher affords a unique perspective when it comes to human behavior. It has allowed me to observe people as they learn new things and find their way forward. In the course of all these years of teaching, I have come to recognize and value certain characteristics.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about how I want to raise my daughters and the kind of people I want them surrounded themselves with. Before long they are going to be thinking about dating and building relationships. What they probably won't realize is the impact that relationships will have on their lives. Because of that, I want to explain to them what qualities to look for in other people. It's only natural to be distracted by superficial qualities like physical attractiveness and charisma. But, I will tell them what matters is Heart, Will, Head.
Experience has taught me that what's in a persons heart matters more than anything else - every other quality comes second. I have dealt with my share of selfish, oblivious, and unreliable people. Because of that, I have come to value people who are compassionate. Giving without asking anything in return and consideration for others speaks to a persons character and points to who they are and how they behave when things are difficult. Having gone through circumstances that nearly crushed me, I know the value of people who are there when I need them. Everyone else just sort of falls away.
An indomitable will is something that I really admire. Probably because I've seen so many people give up in the course of pursuing things. At times it seems as if most people are only capable of doing things if they are easy or fun. The reality of life though is that difficulty is to be expected. There will always be obstacles. Some people rise to the occasion. Others fall to the side. Many people talk about the value of friendship and loyalty, but the truth of things is expressed in actions not words. To my mind, the people who rise to whatever obstacle put before them are the people worth knowing.
In the course of watching people as they learn and grow, I have observed that what's in a person's head is reflected in how their life unfolds. Having a plan and a purpose is important to be able to move forward decisively. When it comes to intelligence, I have learned that there are many different kinds and it's important recognize and value all the different varieties. To a certain degree I understand the desire to be surrounded by people who think the same way, but I think it's incredibly valuable to be exposed to different ideas and perspectives. Ultimately, what I think is important is an active and inquisitive mind. People who have that can usually find a way forward regardless of circumstance.
My daughter Chloe playing Bach Prelude.
What I teach is ultimately a reflection of my beliefs and who I am. To my mind, compassion, loyalty, purposefulness, and intelligence are the qualities that truly matter in a person. They are characteristics I try to exhibit in myself. I know that when it comes to my daughters it is my actions that will speak louder to them than my words. Because of that, I want to be the best possible example I can be for them. I want them to have high standards for themselves and others. If I can do that, I will be satisfied as a parent.