A Little Dissatisfied

     Whenever things slow down, and I can pause to catch my breath, I feel a creeping melancholy seep over me.  Truth be told, I sometimes feel as if depression and anxiety is my natural state.  And, I only manage to keep it at bay by going full speed ahead all the time.  As soon as I have nothing to push against I can't help feeling a bit useless - like an unused tool collecting dust in a shed.  

Anytime someone says I can't do something, my first instinct is to want to do it anyway.  

     Everyone is so focused on the positive and avoiding the negative that sometimes I feel people forget that there is a counterbalance to everything.  You need contrast in your life.  Pretending everything is perfect makes things seem a little hollow - like a savory dish that has no salt or chocolate without a little bitterness. The truth is, for me at least, there are a lot of things I struggle with.  There are a lot of things I don't know.  My marriage isn't perfect, I struggle with being a dad at times, working my athletes leaves me feeling a bit lost at times, and the list goes on and on.  I think it's important to recognize and be real about these things though.  I'm not afraid of acknowledging my problems and weaknesses.  I want to see things for what they are so I can constantly make adjustments and move forward.  

Practice, practice, practice.  You have to teach the mind that winning is normal.  

     There are so many things I want that I am striving for.  At the same time I have constant doubt and worry about how things will turn out moving forward.  At certain times I've tried to push those thoughts aside.  Tried to ignore everything that stood against me.  Over the years though, I've come to realize it's okay to feel a little dissatisfied, a little worried, a little anxious.  I even value it.  Those things keep me fired up.  Being depressed when things are easy keeps me motivated to keep moving forward.  Because, I don't want to feel that way.  I'm happiest when I have something to push against. When things are hard, I know I am going in the right direction.  

Steven Davis drilling it on the front.  

Faster or Farther

     My friend Cameron recently completed the Half Marathon she was training for.  She went eight minutes faster than her previous best, on an off-road course no less (which is slower than running on pavement).  The thing that was most exciting though is that she did it with no shin pain.  Amazing what a few small changes to the process can yield.   

     After the race we started talking about what she wanted to set her sights on next.  The question was whether to keep training for Half Marathons or to stretch it out a bit more and train for a Full Marathon.  Going forward it's a question of whether she wants to go faster or farther.  What's excellent is she can train confident in the knowledge that there is a process for either goal.  A good process will carry you forward.  Semper Porro.