10 Years

     What does ten years add up to?  I've been pondering that thought for several months now.  My Anniversary is coming up and it's amazing to think how much time has gone by.  It feels both as if I have been married forever and also as if the time has gone by as quick as the blink of an eye.  

Holy smokes we were young...

     I remember my wedding day clearly.  It was an outdoor wedding in Seattle.  It was raining when I woke up.   The morning was relaxed.  Kate and I had breakfast with our parents and then we took a trip to the Pike Place Market for flowers. By noon the sun began to shine. Everything was so simple.  Kate's dress was only a few hundred dollars.  There were no big arrangements to be made, only our close family was going to be there.  We wanted the keep things simple and small.  The way we saw it, a wedding is just one day.  We were more focused on everything that would came after.   When the time for the ceremony came there wasn't a cloud in sight and the sky was a brilliant blue.  Everyone forgot about what they thought about the whole thing - like how young we were, or how we had only been together for a few months.  Kate was the first girl I had ever dated, and my family all thought I was crazy.  And then we were married.  It was simple and sweet.  We had a bite of the cake, took a few photos, and then we were off into married life.  That night it rained.

            The next few years were a blur.  Kate got really sick - almost died.  When she got a little better we moved to San Diego.  Kate wanted sunshine and I wanted to race my bike.  We were young and stubborn and stupid.  We had no money and no idea what we were doing.  We lived in a tiny, crummy apartment for three years.  I worked at a job for $7.75 and raced my bike.  Kate found work as a server.  Time passed.  Kate got pregnant.  And then she wasn't.  Two years passed.  Our daughter Chloe was born.  That was crazy.  We were still dirt poor, and our apartment barely fit us, and now we were parents.  There was no room for Chloe.  So, we put her in the closet.  I kept racing my bike.  I didn't have the support I needed, and I had no idea how to prepare properly, but I kept at it.  From time to time our family would subtly encourage us to move back to Seattle (sometimes not so subtly).  But, we kept plugging along.

    We eventually moved.  It was only to one bedroom apartment, but coming from a tiny studio it felt enormous.  Chloe still had to sleep in the closet, but we had a proper bedroom at last.  We upgraded from a futon to a bed.  We couldn't afford a new mattress, so we bought one off Craigslist.  Time passed.  We had little money for anything.  But, after saving for years, we bought a piano.  For years I had taught piano but didn't have one of my own, which seemed the height of absurdity.  Chloe loved it and I would play with her in my lap.

     Kate and I kept working.  We were careful with our money and lived simply.  There were good times and bad.  We had some big fights and occasional stretches when things were really rocky.  But mostly we were good.  The funny thing is we weren't overly romantic.  Our marriage wasn't what you would call passionate or exciting.  It was just comfortable.  We were happy to be together.  We would hang out and stay up late talking about all the things we wanted in life.  We supported each other and were there for each other through good times and bad.  Living so far away from our family meant that we were all we had.      

      Time passed.  When we were able to afford season  passes to Disneyland it felt like we were living a fantasy.  I kept racing and teaching piano.  Kate kept working as a server.  We moved to a bigger apartment and a few days later our second daughter Te'a was born.  Things felt like they were coming together.  And then a car hit me while I was riding my bike.  I broke my neck and that was an end to my dream of racing professionally.  I spent the next year trying to get my life back together and figure out a new direction for myself.

     After my accident, life got busier.  I started writing and began coaching.  Kate became a manger at her restaurant.  It took a year of waiting in legal limbo, but things eventually wrapped up with my accident.  Soon after we bought a house.  Chloe started first grade and Te'a went from crawling to walking to talking.  It's crazy how time flies.

      When I look back on the last ten years, there are so many memories.  We went from having next to nothing and working at crummy jobs to owning a house and pursuing careers.  We have two healthy, happy girls.  Everything is good, everyone is happy.  Money still feels tight, but we don't have to scrape together change to fill up the gas tank.  Sometimes, I find it incredible how far we've come and how much we've been through together.  We still occasionally aggravate the hell out of each other, but I think Kate is amazing and beautiful and awesome and cool.  Every year with her seems better than the last.  As crazy and stupid as I was to get married so young, it was by far the best decision I ever made.

     Here's to the next ten years together.