Pride

     We live in an entitlement culture.  Everyone is great, everyone is fantastic.   Always be positive, don't be negative.  Gold stars all around.  In my years of teaching and coaching, I have come to learn that this attitude - the belief that every student or athlete is somehow special - is the main impediment to moving forward.  If you already think you know better or that you are indeed special, then you won't be prepared to do what needs to be done to move forward.  As an instructor there have been many times that a student has informed me that they know better and don't need to hear what I am telling them.  Or, they agree with me - and then carry on exactly as they were.  After all, if you are special and amazing and awesome, you are already doing everything you need to be doing.  

     Often times, the only way for a person to move forward is to be humbled.  Pride is the impediment to success.  The problem is, in our entitlement culture, we have mistaken true pride and actual accomplishment for false pride and misplaced praise.  True pride is the satisfaction that comes in accomplishing something.  It's real and tangible.  It's the reward for actual achievements.  False pride is the fake projection that people create for themselves as a way to boost their confidence or make themselves feel better.  They tell themselves that they are more exceptional than they actually are to mask the reality of where they are at.  The truth of the matter is though, nobody is special.  Some people just do special things.  

      When all is said and done, what matters is what a person does.  As the saying goes, talk is cheap.  Actions speak louder than words.  For people raised with a sense of misplaced entitlement or self belief, the only way to connect with reality and move forward is to be humbled.  The false pride and unrealistic projections must be broken down.  For people who have lived with an inflated sense of where they are, that can be a bitter pill to swallow.  It's especially hard for people who are smart and for who success has come easily at first.  Everyone must face reality at a certain point though, whether it's because they didn't get into the school they wanted, or they were turned down for a job, or they got dropped in a race they were targeting.  

     The fact of the matter is, reality is hard.  Success does not come easily.  A lot of the time, even when you work and work at something, you still will fail.  And there will be no gold stars.  Just mild words of sympathy - better luck next time.  And so a lot of people try to make the best of things.  They put a positive spin on where they are at.  They say they tried.  Others try to deny reality.  They make excuses.  They point out the obstacles that were against them.  They give up because things are hard.  Successful people stay the course and find a way to get the things that they want.  They have no false pride. They are committed to reality and do what is necessary to move forward.  

     The question of whether a person has the right process is simple.  Do they get the things they want?  A person rooted in reality sees what is needed to achieve what they want and then does what is necessary to accomplish their goal.  They accept critical feedback and make changes to keep moving forward.  They have no false sense of accomplishment.  The pride that they do have is in a job well done.  Semper Porro.